if you don’t respect platonic love as equal to romantic love a million turtles will break into your house tonight and steal all your electronics
never let your printer know that you waited until the last minute to print something and you’re in a hurry. they can sense fear
It’s been apparent to me for a while that most men can’t really imagine “equality.” All they can imagine is having the existing power structure inverted.
I cannot decide whether this shows how unimaginative they are, or shows how aware they must be of what they do in order to so deeply fear having it turned on them. (via lepetitmortpourmoi)
So my teacher told us that two blue eyed people can’t have a brown eyed kid and this kid in my class said “but both my parents have blue eyes and I have brown eyes”. The teacher said “so you’re adopted”. THe next day the kid came in and told us that he confronted his parents about it and that they said he was adopted but wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.
First and Last words.
I’m not crying, there’s something in both my eyes.
THE FIRST AND LAST WORDS ARE SAID BY ALBUS
I TAKE BACK ANY CRITICISM OF HIS NAME
I open at the close
THINGS WE WILL NEVER SEE AGAIN!
This hurt my heart
THE GAS PRICES
That sprite remix tho..
OH MY GOD FRENCH TOAST CRUNCH
they still make oreo o’s in south korea and you can buy them on ebay
The best skeleton joke I’ve ever made tbh